Tag: Gutfeld

GREG GUTFELD: DEI is corrupting airlines, medical school and now landmines

Happy Tuesday everybody. So how do you know when you’ve reached peak idiocy? When we now need diversity guidelines for clearing landmines. It seems Canada has just donated $4 million bucks toward an effort to clear landmines in Ukraine. But in a gender-inclusive manner. Because if there’s one thing we can agree on concerning the war in Ukraine, there simply isn’t enough gender-inclusive mine action, right? But let’s be clear upfront. Anyone in charge of clearing landmines is way braver than I am. I can barely clear my driveway. And if it’s something you accept as your job, I don’t care if you’re white, black, gay, trans, or identify as a Cabbage Patch Kid. How did anybody like those dolls? Hideous. Anyway, but it’s not about the dolls. It’s about how DEI insanity has infected everything. 

It used to corrupt only the places where useless people were, like academia or media. But now it’s airlines, medical school and war, even landmines. I’m sorry. I’m thinking with landmines, maybe inclusivity shouldn’t be anywhere on the list of priorities. The list should be pretty simple. Competence, patience, steady hands and balls the size of the Las Vegas Sphere. Think of Brian Kilmeade, and then think of someone who’s the opposite. Got to make landmines funny. Speaking of, before we go any further, we wanted to get a comment from a guy who knows his stuff. Johnny Joey Jones, who lost both his legs as a bomb disposal technician. Not a great one. Take it away, Joey. 

JOHNNY JOEY JONES: Hey, Greg, just want to let you know you have my full support to make fun of this ridiculous story about gender inclusivity when it comes to taking bombs apart. And just so you know, any gender transformation that happens while taking bombs apart– completely by accident. We didn’t mean for that to happen. 

DISNEY AXES ‘BOYS AND GIRLS’ FROM ALL PARK GREETINGS TO PROMOTE INCLUSIVITY

Thank you, Joey. So on Saturday, Justin Trudeau released a list of Canada’s funding for support for Ukraine. Under a section called, “Gender Inclusive Demining for Sustainable Futures in Ukraine,” it explains the $4 million will go to manual clearance and targeted communities, but also, “establishing a gender and diversity working group to promote gender-transformative mine action in Ukraine.” This is insane. So that’s quite a goal: to add onto the burden of saving lives, including your own. You got to think about this. But it turns out DEI is part of their whole program for clearing landmines around the world. They even published a 75-page document on it.

According to the UN Under-Secretary-General for Peace Operations, Jean-Pierre Lacroix, “While these weapons may be indiscriminate, the specific threats and impacts vary according to gender, age, and other aspects of diversity. It is essential that mine action actors are equipped to apply a gender lens as part of a comprehensive and inclusive approach to planning, implementing and monitoring programs to ensure protection for all and to ensure that no one is left behind.” Boom. All right, stop right there, La Croix. I’ve tasted your flavored waters, and I wasn’t impressed. Why is it everyone named Jean-Pierre is full of crap. It’s almost as if Jean Pierre is French for dips***. 

WHISTLEBLOWER AT TRANS CARE CENTER EXPOSES ‘APPALLING’ PRACTICES INSIDE GENDER-AFFIRMING HOSPITAL FOR KIDS

But look, it’s safe to say landmine clearing is dangerous. You have to be right 100% of the time. You can’t even be wrong once. It’s the opposite of people at the U.N. who can layer this bulls*** on the backs of brave people every day without any risk. They’re in an office safely churning out this turd sausage while cashing the checks that taxpayers send them. Still, the U.N. thinks an inclusive workforce will increase the effectiveness of mine action activities and improve satisfaction at work. I have no idea how they will test this. Work satisfaction? I would assume there’s one metric- not dying. And if you put diversity before competence, that metric is going to get worse. So DEI has finally reached the mountaintop of risk. And even more, we now include everyone in that risk. 

But DEI has the same consequences here as it does everywhere else, whether it’s Harvard or United Air. It has an opportunity cost. Meaning the effort placed in this identity-obsessed lens is an effort that should be placed elsewhere, and the risk for disaster will grow. It’s why it scares us so much that it’s wormed its way into med schools. You have students learning more about pronouns than the pancreas. More about trans than transplants. But especially in the arena of clearing landmines, every little bit of idiocy you introduce matters. Of course landmines blowing up all sorts of people. Yeah, that’s true, but does that mean they have to be cleared by all sorts of people? Not really. 

DEI efforts have a mathematical roadblock. If you choose to fish from a small pond of applicants, you end up running out of qualified fish faster. So you need to fish from the lake, not the pond. Look, does anybody really believe Wokeism will make for better landmine clearing? We’re talking about defusing deadly explosives here, not getting misgendered in an office breakroom. You think using the right pronouns at work is a minefield? This is an actual f*** minefield, people. Who benefits from this? Not the people who need landmines cleared. 

They just want the best people to save them. And the LGBT community? Tell them the bomb squad needs trans women. Hell, Lia Thomas would suddenly grow a mustache and douse himself in Old Spice. He’d be pretty attractive too. But clearing landmines is just the latest human endeavor to be infected with diversity, equity and inclusion. Landmines are serious business, but the people making the rules apparently are not serious people. That’s leftism for you. 

Human life is less important than their woke agenda. So what if a few people lose a limb or two to meet a quota? It’s worth it to tell yourself you’re being inclusive. In this case, DEI might mean you die.

GREG GUTFELD: Mayorkas is a border czar only a cartel could love

So, America’s least popular reality show is still going strong. Yes, I’m talking about the Bachelor Southern Border. Millions of illegal, most of whom seem to be healthy young men, are walking away from all the other gals in the world to cozy up to the world’s most eligible bachelorette. That sexy lady in the long, flowing gown. Yeah, the Statue of Liberty. Or as I like to call her, a six. I mean, come on, we could have done better. So many hotter immigrants. So a migrant traveling from Venezuela will literally walk through six other countries before hitting the Texas border. How do they do that? I go five blocks and I’m exhausted. So is my driver. Now, if you’re so desperate that you have to flee your nation on foot without a visa or even a passport, aren’t you desperate enough not to be choosy? Wouldn’t you be satisfied with the first reasonable option? Not everyone gets to marry the prom queen. I mean, I was dumped by mine. Because she was too much into cheerleading practice and getting good grades. That, and I was 48. 

VIDEO SHOWS DOZENS OF MIGRANTS DELIVERED TO BORDER BEFORE ENTERING US ILLEGALLY

But why come here when there are so many places before us with people who speak the language and have better food? Well, it’s simple. Roughly six seconds after his saggy, dented ass hit the Oval Office chair, Joe threw out a welcome mat that stretched from Washington to Tierra del Fuego. He may as well put up signs in Mexico saying, “Don’t stop! In a few miles, you’ll get free meals and sex changes if you murder someone.” I know. On top of that, the UN just presented a plan giving $1.6 billion to 17 Latin American countries, partially in the form of prepaid debit cards for migrants. Now, the UN gets 20% of its budget from us, so we’re actually paying the migrants to come here. And what do you know? Suddenly, the U.S. had roughly 10 million new contestants that decided we’re the one. Which is why it’s about time to replace the Statue of Liberty’s torch with a can of pepper spray.

Metaphorically! It’s an analogy. Not literally. I don’t think they make them that big. Because the White House has turned the Statue of Liberty into a $10 waterfront hooker. No surprise it takes progressivism to its inevitable endpoint. You don’t get Paradise. You get chaos. No person is illegal. Everyone is welcome. That sounds great in my hot tub until the entire nation of Bolivia shows up, then it sounds great. So what’s the damage? Well, we got a tug of war over razor wire, an event verging on a constitutional crisis. There’s also the well-deserved impeachment hearings for DHS Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas, who looks like a cross between James Carville and a Kaiser roll. Mayorkas is a border czar only a cartel could love. So go ahead, impeach away. But let’s not get distracted. The administration has painted themselves into a corner, which is why they are now changing the rules. Suddenly, we’re being told we must negotiate, that we’re close to achieving bipartisan legislation. Bipartisan. Makes you wonder who they’re trying to buy. After all, why the hell do we have to negotiate a border? Wasn’t that part of the original deal? 

The truth is, we don’t need legislation. It’s not that hard. See, when the great orange wall known as Trump came into office, he instituted the policy called Remain in Mexico. Which, by the way, is exactly the same thing I told Menudo. And they did. But it was just that. An executive order, a policy issued by the president. All it took was a pen and a phone. Two things that Biden confuses all the time, which is why he has ink all over his face. So, like most brilliant ideas, Remain in Mexico, was simple and it worked. All it meant was that migrants traveling through Mexico to claim asylum here had to wait in Mexico for their cases to be heard in a U.S. court. Now, since progressives threw up every barrier to deportation they could think of, that could take three years. So, three years waiting around but now on the Mexican side of the border. Phony asylum claims would plummet when, instead of a luxury hotel, they get a motel six. No longer can you dream of trimming Nancy Pelosi’s hedges or screwing Arnold Schwarzenegger. 

BIDEN ADMIN FORMALLY ENDS TRUMP’S ‘REMAIN IN MEXICO’ IMMIGRATION POLICY 

And so, as expected, tent cities began to spring up down there. Mexico started looking as bad as downtown Seattle. And so quickly, Mexico started enforcing its own southern border to keep migrants out. Imagine that? Remain in Mexico was such a good idea, it created two different southern borders. But since this idea was Trump’s, it had to be undone. Which is like refusing to cash in a winning lottery ticket because you don’t like the cashier’s tie. The left hates Trump so much they come out against banging supermodels. Thank you. I think that deserves applause. So it’s not hard to see why the Republicans consider this supposed bipartisan border bill as dead on arrival as Joe himself. It should never have been alive to begin with. And to the horror of the media, Republicans aren’t falling for it. Which is why nutcases like Morning Joe now accuse Republicans and Trump of murder.

MSNBC’S JOE SCARBOROUGH: People, as Mitt Romney said, are suffering right now. Fentanyl flooding across the border, illegal immigrants streaming across the border, Democrats and Republicans in the Senate know how to stop it. And House Republicans and Donald Trump won’t do it. It is immoral. 

What’s immoral, you gasbags, is your phony display of outrage now, after three years of this crap. Either those two are stupid or they’re plain stupid. But they’re not smart enough to pretend to be this dumb. It is deep. Thankfully, unlike those bozos, we’re not falling for it. The point is, Remain in Mexico still works, and just as easily as Trump did it and Biden undid it, Biden can redo it. I mean, it’s not like we’re asking him to tie his shoes or acknowledge his own grandkid. No negotiations, no legislation. We don’t need to spend more millions on the border. That’s b*****. Hell, if you need money, take what you made from selling off the border wall and buy yourself a nice new pen. Then practice signing your name if you can remember it.

Greg Gutfeld: What’s with all the people eating bugs?

What’s with all the people eating bugs? First you remember this crackpot. 

CNN HOST: Are you ready? Cheers. Actually, I’m less scared of this. Mm hmm. Do I have a wing hanging out of my mouth?

Anyway, I can think of someone else at CNN who needs to be restricted to eating. Just bugs. [Picture of Brian Stelter] Low hanging fruit. But now, in recent years, everyone’s getting into the act, even celebrities. 

GREG GUTFELD: DEMOCRATS ARE SUDDENLY AGAINST CRITICIZING LAW ENFORCEMENT 

[Video of celebrities eating bugs]

They couldn’t even act like they enjoyed it. And a lot of them were actors. Of course, now some claim that you should be eating insects in order to reduce carbon emissions. 

ROBERT DOWNEY JR.: This is a powder derived from the meal worm, and it’s a insect protein just been approved by the EU for human consumption. The making of it is severely reducing the amount of emissions it takes. If we make this switch it’s a huge, huge intervention. 

I’m pretty sure that guy sat next to me on a Greyhound bus in 1989. He was talking about how his voices were telling him to go to, I don’t know, to go eat insects. So now it’s a moral obligation to eat insects. But like eating a centipede, they’re just playing the long game, right? I didn’t write that. If you laughed, I would take ownership of it. But we just fired that person

First, they’re going to tell you that eating insects isn’t at all weird. Then you’re going to tell you it’s normal to eat insects. And then finally, you’re racist if you don’t eat insects. 

So Yahoo! Remember that? Yahoo! Actually wrote a FactCheck piece claiming eating insects isn’t harmful. I’m going to quote this social media post saying that chitin contained in insect exoskeleton cannot be processed by the human body. This is misleading. While some parts of insects may not be digested entirely by humans, it doesn’t mean that eating them is harmful. I don’t know. I think those experts are full of chit. 

So maybe not every bug makes you sick, but if I’ve got worms in my stomach, take me to the hospital. And don’t suggest that they need company. 

Others will say bugs are part of a balanced diet in other countries, as well as being integral to the culture, which explains why people leave there to come here. If insects are integral to your culture, you need to find a new culture. 

If I was working in immigration and a refugee came to my desk and I asked, why are you here? And they said, My family eats insects. I’d wave them all through. 

Bugs are carriers of disease and parasites. The texture is disgusting. No one smiles when they eat insects. And when Robert Downey Jr says it will reduce emissions, yeah, but by what? One study found that if every American became vegetarian, emissions would drop by only 5%. That’s not worth it. 

The fact is, most people eat meat because it’s healthy. And as Michael Shellenberger, author of the book “Apocalypse Never” points out, the amount of pollution from farming is trivial compared to jet setting around the world promoting bug cuisine. 

And so what if it’s popular in other countries? You know what else is popular in other countries? Beheadings. Which is also good for the climate because it cuts down on exhaling, which in turn cuts down CO2 levels. Should we adopt that practice too? Being headless makes it more difficult to drive, helping the environment as well.

That’s the point, though. it’s not about your health or your taste buds. It’s about climate. The BBC asks, could grasshoppers really replace beef? Well, here’s the long answer, **** no. 

The writer said he was intrigued to see how he could lower his carbon footprint if he ate bugs as his main source of protein. Well you do that, champ. And also be sure and write another piece when you stop making insects your main source of protein. That’ll be two days later when you’re writing it from a hospital bed. 

So why all this media in lockstep? Once again, it’s driven by people who exempt themselves from their own advice. Do you think these elites will eat bugs themselves? Do you think Greta Thunberg’s mom packed her centipede sandwich in her hello kitty lunchbox this morning? Do you think you’re going to see creme of carpenter ant as a dinner special at the UN cafeteria? No, when they asked who ordered bugs at the World Economic Forum, all you hear is crickets. 

You see the faces of people who eat insects. It’s revulsion. And revulsion is an instinct. The humans who didn’t find eating insects revolting died. That’s why we prefer our food insect free. Because we’re the ones left. Sure, you could say, but it’s low fat. But so is dog ****. And I’m not smearing that across a bagel. I told Kilmeade it was Nutella. 

But what really sucks, and the whole point is this — is that they ignore the main reason that humans eat bugs. It’s because they’re poor and they don’t have access to better food. So instead, these fools try to make poverty seem like fun. I mean, do you think an African child would eat a plate of mealworms if they could have a bowl of pesto instead of pests? 

Like President Biden, bugs are no one’s first choice. They leave that part out of every story. The lack of prosperity that forces them to eat insects, like the president’s BMs, it’s not voluntary. I left that in there and I’m still wondering why. 

Then they call something people eat out of desperation, a delicacy. By this logic, the Donner Party was a 12-course lesson in exotic cuisine. Don’t knock it. 

But it’s all about manufacturing consent. Getting us to adopt a practice that advocates won’t take part in, like giving up their personal jet or putting giant windmills in their backyards. The World Economic Forum may push this stuff, but they’re not eating spiders, which, by the way, are now our competition for the insects. They’re better at it. Look, we’ve all eaten insects before, too, but usually by accident. 

[Video of Doug Ford swallowing a bee]

Hmm. He didn’t seem to enjoy that. He must be a bigot — doesn’t appreciate other cultures. 

But do you really think Americans are going to eat beetles when we get lobster tail at the Sunoco station? The fact is, restaurants that have bugs on the menu are only because someone used the menu to swat a fly. Sorry, my idea of a buffet is in standing under a bug light, catching what falls onto my plate. But this isn’t about you. And it’s not about the rich. Really, they aren’t giving up their foie gras for fried worm. 

It’s not about targeting the middle class either. The closest they’ll come to eating a bug is the bee in Applebee’s. The only people left really are the poor. So is that where we’re headed? Feeding bugs en mass to the poor instead of helping them out of poverty. I’m jealous of the days when elites said, Let them eat cake. Now it’s let them eat cicadas.