The battle of the sexes has finally ended after several million years of jockeying and strife. Men won conclusively. We know this because yesterday was International Women’s Day. That’s the day we as a global community celebrate women, but if you looked closely at the women we were celebrating, you may have noticed a lot of them weren’t actually women. They were lumpy-looking dudes, and that was not accidental. 

In fact, it was a brilliant piece of sexual jiu-jitsu. Sun Tzu could have written that strategy. Here you had men who are clearly craftier than they look somehow convincing a whole lot of otherwise self-aware and highly educated women to praise them as living paragons of womanhood. Think about how hard it would be to sell that proposition. “I’m going to steal your identity and then mock and degrade the immutable characteristics that define you as a person, and then as I do this, you are going to smile brightly and applaud and then give a speech about how liberated you feel.” How about that?

The whole thing is amazing. It’s like watching a practical joke devised by the drunkest, most cynical fraternity brothers at the University of Alabama during a hungover breakfast at Denny’s. You can picture them all there in baseball hats, dipping Copenhagen, spitting into their coffee mugs. “Think we can get girls to fall for that? No way. They’ll never buy it.” Oh, but they did. They bought it, and it wasn’t really that hard to sell it. Liberals will fall for anything if they think it is fashionable and progressive, and so before long, the practical joke from Denny’s at the University of Alabama made it all the way to the White House, where it was taken with the utmost seriousness. Here’s Jill Biden and Secretary Tony Blinken handing out an award on International Women’s Day to a dude in makeup. 

ANNOUNCER: In Argentina, Alba Rueda is a transgender woman who was kicked out of classrooms, barred for sitting for exams, refused job opportunities, subjected to violence and rejected by her family, but in the face of these challenges, she worked to end violence and discrimination against the LGBTQI+ community in Argentina.

CANADIAN FEMALE POWERLIFTER ‘OUTRAGED’ USA FEDERATION MUST ALLOW TRANS ATHLETES TO COMPETE AGAINST WOMEN 

Did you see Tony Blinken fight the natural urge to flinch as that guy kissed him? There was no flinching allowed on “International Men-in-Dresses Day.” That might spoil the intended message for the audience, which is, “Hey, ladies, meet your new hero. He’s the guy who’s making fun of you.” And they do welcome the guy. They clap like seals, and you wonder as you watch this, is feminism over? Let’s see. Has Rome fallen? Yes. Feminism is over. Feminism has been flattened and sacked by the Visigoths of the trans movement, and if you doubt that, notice that all the women’s awards these days seem to be going to men.

Here we have Richard Levine put on an admiral’s uniform with a skirt and become USA Today’s Woman of the Year. William Thomas wears a one-piece bathing suit and gets nominated for NCAA Woman of the Year. Then some guy who calls himself Fae, with an “e,” was Hershey’s Women’s Day honoree, and so on. The men are taking all the prizes set aside for women, but that’s not all they’re stealing. They’re also taking what progressive called “lived experiences.” So anyone could throw on a halter top, but the real dividing line is biology. Only actual women can have menstrual cycles. Well, not anymore. Anything a woman can do, a man can do better. That’s the slogan of the trans movement, and that includes getting cramps. 

TRANSGENDER GIRL: Wow. I was just thinking, “Oh, I swear to God, if anyone says, Welcome to womanhood, I’m going to lose my —-.”

Talk about mansplaining! That’s the ultimate mansplainer, some guy, ladies at a certain time each month, your tummy may hurt a little, let me tell you about it and what to do when that happens. It’s too funny. “Of course, if men can get their periods, by definition, they can also get pregnant, and that’s why we need legal abortion. So, men won’t be forced into back-alleys.” Watch law professor Khiara Bridges explain. 

NEWSOM AG SUED OVER LAW DEEMING CALIFORNIA ‘SANCTUARY STATE’ FOR MINORS SEEKING TRANSGENDER PROCEDURES 

HAWLEY: You’ve referred to people with a capacity for pregnancy. Would that be women?

BRIDGES: Many women, cis women, have the capacity for pregnancy. Many cis women do not have the capacity for pregnancy. There are also trans men who are capable of pregnancy as well as non-binary people who are capable of pregnancy.

HAWLEY: So, this isn’t really a women’s rights issue?

BRIDGES: We can recognize that this impacts women while also recognizing that it impacts other groups. Those things are not mutually exclusive, Sen. Hawley. 

HAWLEY: So, your view is, is that the core of this right then is about what? 

BRIDGES: So, I want to recognize that your line of questioning is transphobic and it opens up trans people to violence. Denying that trans people exist and pretending not to know that they exist.

HAWLEY: I’m denying that trans people exist by asking you if you are talking about women having pregnancies?

BRIDGES: Are you? Are you? Are you? Do you believe that men can get pregnant?

HAWLEY: No, I don’t think men can get pregnant.

BRIDGES: You are denying that trans people exist.

How long did that woman spend in the North Korean brainwashing camp? How long would she hesitate before killing you? Not long. So, here she is telling Sen. Hawley, “Stop defending the matriarchy, senator, abortion is between a man and his doctor. Hands off men’s bodies. Abortion is for the men.” Well, the media agree, by the way. 

ARKANSAS LEGISLATURE APPROVES CONTROVERSIAL TRANSGENDER BATHROOM BILL 

MSNBC REPORTER: So, we’ve all been talking about what the Dobbs decision means for women, but it also matters for non-binary and trans-birthing people. So, I went to Atlanta, Georgia, to hear from one trans man about his experience with abortion. 

REP. BISHOP AT HEARING: Do you believe that men can become pregnant and have abortions?

AIMEE ARRAMBIDE, ABORTION ACTIVIST: Yes. 

REP. CORI BUSH: Trans men and non-binary people do become pregnant.

COLLEEN MCNICHOLAS, PLANNED PARENTHOOD: So long as you have a uterus, you have the capability of getting pregnant, and if you think that accessing abortion care is stigmatizing when you present as a woman, imagine what it is when you’re presenting as your authentic male self. 

REP. RO KHANNA: I appreciate your mentioning that there are transgender men and non-binary individuals who rely on reproductive health services and abortion services. 

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Somewhere at the University of Alabama, those fraternity brothers are throwing in another dip and howling. “We got them to make abortion all about men’s bodies. We got them to watch TikTok videos where some dude lectures them about menstrual cramps. We got them to give all the ladies’ awards to men and feel virtuous as they were doing it.” It is the funniest practical joke ever. 

Of course, it eliminated an entire category of humanity: Women. So where are the defenders of women? You remember Gloria Steinem famously said, “If men could get pregnant, abortion be a sacrament.” Now she’s going to House hearings saying men can get pregnant.