Bitter rivals BC, BU could be on a Frozen Four collision course

Crosstown foes for more than 100 years, the Eagles and Terriers enter the NCAA tournament as the top two teams in the country.

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GREG GUTFELD: Mayorkas is a border czar only a cartel could love

So, America’s least popular reality show is still going strong. Yes, I’m talking about the Bachelor Southern Border. Millions of illegal, most of whom seem to be healthy young men, are walking away from all the other gals in the world to cozy up to the world’s most eligible bachelorette. That sexy lady in the long, flowing gown. Yeah, the Statue of Liberty. Or as I like to call her, a six. I mean, come on, we could have done better. So many hotter immigrants. So a migrant traveling from Venezuela will literally walk through six other countries before hitting the Texas border. How do they do that? I go five blocks and I’m exhausted. So is my driver. Now, if you’re so desperate that you have to flee your nation on foot without a visa or even a passport, aren’t you desperate enough not to be choosy? Wouldn’t you be satisfied with the first reasonable option? Not everyone gets to marry the prom queen. I mean, I was dumped by mine. Because she was too much into cheerleading practice and getting good grades. That, and I was 48. 

VIDEO SHOWS DOZENS OF MIGRANTS DELIVERED TO BORDER BEFORE ENTERING US ILLEGALLY

But why come here when there are so many places before us with people who speak the language and have better food? Well, it’s simple. Roughly six seconds after his saggy, dented ass hit the Oval Office chair, Joe threw out a welcome mat that stretched from Washington to Tierra del Fuego. He may as well put up signs in Mexico saying, “Don’t stop! In a few miles, you’ll get free meals and sex changes if you murder someone.” I know. On top of that, the UN just presented a plan giving $1.6 billion to 17 Latin American countries, partially in the form of prepaid debit cards for migrants. Now, the UN gets 20% of its budget from us, so we’re actually paying the migrants to come here. And what do you know? Suddenly, the U.S. had roughly 10 million new contestants that decided we’re the one. Which is why it’s about time to replace the Statue of Liberty’s torch with a can of pepper spray.

Metaphorically! It’s an analogy. Not literally. I don’t think they make them that big. Because the White House has turned the Statue of Liberty into a $10 waterfront hooker. No surprise it takes progressivism to its inevitable endpoint. You don’t get Paradise. You get chaos. No person is illegal. Everyone is welcome. That sounds great in my hot tub until the entire nation of Bolivia shows up, then it sounds great. So what’s the damage? Well, we got a tug of war over razor wire, an event verging on a constitutional crisis. There’s also the well-deserved impeachment hearings for DHS Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas, who looks like a cross between James Carville and a Kaiser roll. Mayorkas is a border czar only a cartel could love. So go ahead, impeach away. But let’s not get distracted. The administration has painted themselves into a corner, which is why they are now changing the rules. Suddenly, we’re being told we must negotiate, that we’re close to achieving bipartisan legislation. Bipartisan. Makes you wonder who they’re trying to buy. After all, why the hell do we have to negotiate a border? Wasn’t that part of the original deal? 

The truth is, we don’t need legislation. It’s not that hard. See, when the great orange wall known as Trump came into office, he instituted the policy called Remain in Mexico. Which, by the way, is exactly the same thing I told Menudo. And they did. But it was just that. An executive order, a policy issued by the president. All it took was a pen and a phone. Two things that Biden confuses all the time, which is why he has ink all over his face. So, like most brilliant ideas, Remain in Mexico, was simple and it worked. All it meant was that migrants traveling through Mexico to claim asylum here had to wait in Mexico for their cases to be heard in a U.S. court. Now, since progressives threw up every barrier to deportation they could think of, that could take three years. So, three years waiting around but now on the Mexican side of the border. Phony asylum claims would plummet when, instead of a luxury hotel, they get a motel six. No longer can you dream of trimming Nancy Pelosi’s hedges or screwing Arnold Schwarzenegger. 

BIDEN ADMIN FORMALLY ENDS TRUMP’S ‘REMAIN IN MEXICO’ IMMIGRATION POLICY 

And so, as expected, tent cities began to spring up down there. Mexico started looking as bad as downtown Seattle. And so quickly, Mexico started enforcing its own southern border to keep migrants out. Imagine that? Remain in Mexico was such a good idea, it created two different southern borders. But since this idea was Trump’s, it had to be undone. Which is like refusing to cash in a winning lottery ticket because you don’t like the cashier’s tie. The left hates Trump so much they come out against banging supermodels. Thank you. I think that deserves applause. So it’s not hard to see why the Republicans consider this supposed bipartisan border bill as dead on arrival as Joe himself. It should never have been alive to begin with. And to the horror of the media, Republicans aren’t falling for it. Which is why nutcases like Morning Joe now accuse Republicans and Trump of murder.

MSNBC’S JOE SCARBOROUGH: People, as Mitt Romney said, are suffering right now. Fentanyl flooding across the border, illegal immigrants streaming across the border, Democrats and Republicans in the Senate know how to stop it. And House Republicans and Donald Trump won’t do it. It is immoral. 

What’s immoral, you gasbags, is your phony display of outrage now, after three years of this crap. Either those two are stupid or they’re plain stupid. But they’re not smart enough to pretend to be this dumb. It is deep. Thankfully, unlike those bozos, we’re not falling for it. The point is, Remain in Mexico still works, and just as easily as Trump did it and Biden undid it, Biden can redo it. I mean, it’s not like we’re asking him to tie his shoes or acknowledge his own grandkid. No negotiations, no legislation. We don’t need to spend more millions on the border. That’s b*****. Hell, if you need money, take what you made from selling off the border wall and buy yourself a nice new pen. Then practice signing your name if you can remember it.

Missing Virginia mom tells local reporter why she hasn't been home: 'I wish I could come back'

A Virginia mother who was reported missing earlier this month amid allegations of child abuse told a local news reporter that she and her three children are doing well. 

A missing persons investigation began Sept. 13, after Lauren Cook failed to appear for a rescheduled court appearance in Franklin County Juvenile and Domestic Relations Court, authorities said. This was a rescheduled court appearance from a Sept. 5 date in which she did not appear.

Cook has been missing with her three children — 7-year-old Benjamin Cook, 5-year-old Hannah Cook and 2-year-old Elijah Cook. Her husband, Jordan Cook, said that his family was not missing. 

DELIBERATIONS BEGIN IN YOUTUBE PRANKSTER STUCK IN JAIL ANYWAY

Lauren Cook, 30, spoke with ABC 13 News via a video call and over an app that can’t be tracked, the news outlet said.

“I just don’t have any solid answers yet as to what’s happening with this case,” she said. 

She said everything began with an anonymous report to social services alleging child abuse, which she denies. 

Despite an investigation, Cook said she was given legal advice that she could proceed with a pre-planned Labor Day vacation. She extended the trip after receiving legal advice, but was concerned that her children would be taken away. 

The Franklin County Sheriff’s Office said Cook and the children will remain listed as missing until they make in-person contact with authorities. 

“The whole thing has me feeling a little paranoid about the situation with law enforcement,” Cook said. “Why do they need me to specifically come in-person with kids … when even the person that made the report is telling them that none of us are missing.”

“Of course, I wish I could come back,” she added. “It’s hard to not really able to come back, come back to your own home.”

Fox News Digital has reached out to authorities. 

Jordan Cook said he and his wife have not missed any social service appointments. His attorney said the social services case was dismissed this week, the news outlet reported. 

Israel Could Become a Constitutional Democracy

Debates over judicial reform create an opportunity to reconcile the nation’s identity as the Jewish homeland with its duties to a multicultural population.

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Suspended Grizzlies star Ja Morant's nightclub incident could cost him $39 million: report

Ja Morant has quickly become a superstar. The Memphis Grizzlies guard has a unique skill set and is often the most gifted athlete on the basketball court on any given night.

His high-flying slam dunks have taken the internet by storm over the past couple of years, and he has helped lift his team to multiple playoff appearances and a division title. Last July, the Grizzlies rewarded Morant with a five-year supermax contract extension.

The contract included incentives which entitled Morant to nearly a quarter-billion dollars if he met certain thresholds this season.

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Now, Morant has garnered a significant amount of attention on the internet, but for reasons that have nothing to do with his on the court feats. 

Morant briefly flashed a handgun at a strip club near Denver in an Instagram Live video on March 4. The ensuing fallout resulted in an eight-game suspension without pay for conduct detrimental to the league, the NBA announced Wednesday.

But the impact of Morant’s actions could further cost the star athlete an estimated $39 million.

JA MORANT BREAKS SILENCE ON VIRAL VIDEO WHERE HE FLASHED GUN AT CLUB: ‘NOT WHO I AM’

Per an NBA rule known as the “Derrick Rose Rule,” a team can pay 30% of its salary cap to any player that signs a maximum Designated Rookie extension, if that player meets certain qualifications.

The select qualifications include a player winning the MVP award, two Defensive Player of the Year awards in the past three seasons or two All-NBA team appearances. At least one of those qualifications has to be met before the max contract kicks in for the player to receive the salary bump.

Morant already has one appearance on the All-NBA team to his credit, and appeared to be on his way to a second appearance until the incident earlier this month.

JA MORANT’S LATEST BEHAVIOR STEMS FROM ‘PARENTING’ AND MUSIC, FELLOW NBA PLAYER PATRICK BEVERLEY SAYS

According to Spotrac, a second All-NBA team appearance would result in the value of Morant’s extension jumping from $194 million to $233 million.

The issue is that Morant might not play in enough games this season to qualify for an All-NBA team. If he plays in every remaining game after he returns from his suspension, Morant would finish the season with 65 games played.

“I feel like in the past we didn’t know what was at stake,” Morant said during a sit-down interview with ESPN’s Jalen Rose on Wednesday.

The Grizzlies have managed to hold onto the No. 2 spot in the Western Conference while Morant has been away from the team. Memphis is hoping to make a deep playoff run this upcoming postseason — with the help of Morant.